Monthly Archives: October 2018

Happiness

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Happiness 1

I am not quite sure what shifted in my life over the past few months, but I can feel it.  I am happier than I have been in years.  It makes no sense on the surface.  This summer, quite frankly, I was miserable beyond words, and now, I am far from it.

Nothing major changed.  I am still single (more on that later), I am only slightly closer to starting the family I so desperately want, and my dad still hasn’t fully retired from the canoe livery.  My teaching career is not yet off the ground, and I am not yet a published author.  It just doesn’t matter that much anymore.  I am working toward the items I listed above, with one notable exception:  a relationship.

In fact, finally letting go of the idea that I should be in a relationship may be responsible for my new-found happiness – and my renewed focus.  After finally fully addressing my feelings for one man in particular and letting him know exactly how I feel (it wasn’t going to work), I just didn’t care anymore.

It isn’t that I am completely giving up on the idea of ever being in a relationship.  No, it is more than that.  Maybe I am finally learning that there is nothing stopping me from what I want out of life.  I know what it is like to be in an awful relationship, how destructive it can be, and how it can slowly erode over time without one even realizing it until it is far too late.  I also know what it is like to continually wonder if you should let your true feelings be known.  In this case, this person’s friendship meant so much to me that I did not want to jeopardize it.  That is what I feared most:  that he would no longer be a part of my life.

For the first time in 15 years – actually, most of my adult life – I am not in a relationship nor do I necessarily want to be in one.  There is no one in my life I would like to date, and I am fine with it.  Finally.

So far, my little “yes” experiment has been a success.  You can read more about it here.  There is so much to do and so little time.

Happiness 2

Traditional Books Vs. Kindle Books

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Reading 1

I admit I should read more traditional books.  I have several that are begging to be read.  The problem is Kindle books are all too convenient.  As a substitute teacher, I always have my cell phone on me, equipped with my Kindle books app.  Why throw a book in my bag as well when I have perfectly good books to read on my phone?  It is almost a no-brainer.  The ease of use of Kindle books on my Android phone is responsible for an increase in my reading.  I always have a book with me.  I love reading during conference hours and lunch.  As I also use my cell as an alarm clock, I also tend to read Kindle books before falling asleep.  It is all right there.

Despite all that, I understand why some people loathe the rise of e-books.  I get it.  As convenient as e-books are, nothing compares to the smell of traditional books.  Nothing.  Personally, I have a fondness for hardcovers.  There is nothing comparable to searching a bookstore or library for the perfect book to take home.  In my opinion, a home would not be a home without shelves of books of all types.  I particularly value books by local authors, most of which can only be purchased in paperback.  I would severely limit myself and diminish my love of reading if I only read and/or purchased e-books.  In short, I can’t imagine a life without traditional books of all stripes:  hardcovers, paperbacks, and board books.

The issue becomes what do I do if I want to annotate a book.  There are certain books that I plan to read more than once (although rare), or I want to discuss certain topics brought up in the book.  As I adore quotes, there are times I may want to quote from a book, especially if I am writing a book review.  Personally, I dislike writing or highlighting books, even textbooks I own (although I did when necessary).  In Kindle books, it is extremely easy to note and annotate to my heart’s content without defacing a book.  The only drawback is this:  I tend to forget if I happen to have a library Kindle book.  When my library loan is up, I no longer have access to my notes and/or annotations.

By the way, borrowing Kindle books from your local library is usually easy and a lot of fun.  No trip to the library necessary, although I recommend one anyway.  Borrowing e-books via your local library is a great way to stock up on reading material prior to a trip or for any occasion.  Most library systems allow patrons to check out five e-books at one time.  I love spending time browsing my local library’s website to see what e-books are available.  I now have an extensive to-be-read pile on my account.  The best part of borrowing e-books from your local library:  no need to remember due dates.  The titles are simply no longer accessible after two weeks.  They may or may not be able to be able to be renewed, depending on popularity.  It is, once again, all too easy.

Ultimately, I love where readers are right now.  We have the best of both worlds:  e-books and traditional books.  Neither one is going anywhere anytime soon.  I love being able to choose.  If I truly love – and I do mean love – a title, I am free to purchase both.  Choice is a wonderful thing.

reading

Of Reading and Writing: An Overview

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Writing 1

My ability to lose sight of my love of reading and writing never ceases to amaze me.  At times, the strength of the connection between the two comes back at me two-fold, and I fall in love all over again.  For example, years ago I read Reading Like a Writer by Francine Prose.  It forever changed the way I read and how I view the time I spend reading.  If I were to make a list of books that profoundly shaped who I am today, it would certainly be at the top of the list.  Currently, I am in the middle of rereading it.  When I read it years ago, I borrowed it from the library and carefully noted its recommended reading list.  Today I purchased the Kindle version for easy annotation (Kindle books versus traditional books is another blog post altogether – one I plan to write soon).  I am picking it apart in hopes of learning why it resonated with me so deeply.  That, in fact, is the entire point of the book.  We learn to write by dissecting what we read.

Recently – as always – I came across the perfect books at the perfect time.  I just finished The Book Whisperer by Donalyn Miller and Reading in the Wild by Donalyn Miller and Susan Kelley.  Of course, there is a story behind my love of these books.  Incidentally, I had the opportunity to hear Donalyn Miller speak at Saginaw Valley State University (SVSU) a few years ago while completing my teaching certificate.  Knowing that she was to speak on encouraging students to read, I eagerly headed to SVSU on a cold, snowy Saturday morning hoping to learn more.  I hoped to learn how to reach students who do not like to read.  The entire concept of not loving – nevermind liking – to read is completely foreign to me.  That day I left inspired to create an extensive classroom library in spite of the fact that I will not be teaching English Language Arts (ELA) classes, along with her latest book, and little else.  She encouraged us all to reach those students who do not see the connection between reading and pleasure.  Her ideas were (and are still) practical; however, I still was not convinced that I could make a difference as a non-ELA secondary teacher.

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Fast-forward several years and my sister happens to mention the book The Book Whisperer by Donalyn Miller.  It immediately rings a bell, we discuss it, and I have to read it as soon as possible, along with the sequel.  There is so much to discuss in both of Donalyn Miller’s books.  The ideas she presents should be the focus of reading education, but that would require a fundamental shift in how reading is taught at all levels which is a shame.  Both books deserve their own blog posts, as well as a post tying the two together.  Reading in the Wild by Donalyn Miller and Susan Kelley inspired me to reread Reading Like a Writer by Francine Prose.  It is an example of what Donalyn Miller coins “wild reading” in action and demonstrates how “wild readers” stay inspired, continue reading, and challenge themselves.  I am now convinced that I do indeed have a role to play.

Stay tuned for a series of posts discussing the many angles of all three books, as well as my own take on the importance of reading and writing in my life.  It is taking center stage now for a variety of reasons.  I am still patiently trying to create a writing and reading routine that works for me.  I will not let this go.  It is too important, and I have too much to say.

Writing 2

November is Coming …

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Snape

For those who don’t know, November is National Novel Writing Month.  While I may not be participating in NaNoWriMo this year, I know many are preparing for November.  I thought I would share a little inspiration.  Many participating in NaNoWriMo use September and October to plan their writing in November.

You can read my thoughts on Snape here.  He will always be one of my favorite literary characters of all-time.  I do not say that lightly.

Of Witchy Wolves and Writing

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wolf

One of my oldest pieces of writing that survives online is my take on the witchy wolves of the Omer plains.  You can find it here over at Michigan’s Other Side.  I wrote it specifically for the website back in 2006-2007.

My dilemma is now this.  I have grown leaps and bounds as a writer since then.  There are many things I would like to correct in the original.  At the same time, people seem to find and enjoy the original – particularly locals.  The witchy wolf legend is going nowhere.  This is exactly why I wrote the piece in the first place.  Currently. It seems to come up every six months or so.  Why fix it?

Even though my every instinct as a writer is to polish the piece and have the website publish that instead, there really is no reason to do so.  I need to learn to leave it be.

Lately, I’ve finally started writing stories from my childhood that need to be told.  They started as blog posts that I planned to share here, but now I am not so sure.  They are evolving into what I’ve always planned to write.  They may have to wait.

Saying Yes

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great things

Over the last few years, many plans I made did not come to pass.  For example, last year I didn’t attend the annual Mid-Michigan Writers’ retreat.  I made a point to do so this year.  Last year, when a good friend moved to nearby Gladwin, I suggested we meet up and spend some time in her new town.  A year later, we finally did just that.  I need to do … more.  More of what makes me happy, more of what matters.  A little over a week ago, I made last minute plans to spend the weekend with my mom, aunt,  and my sister and her family to attend a memorial service for one of my great uncles.  I ended up getting to see members of my family that I haven’t seen in years.  I made wonderful memories with my sister, aunt, mom, and nephews. What if I had missed that?  It made me realize that I need to make time for the people that matter in my life.

Every year, I seem to get into the Christmas spirit later and later.  If I am honest, I tend to get depressed right before Christmas.  It always seems to be a combination of things, including the fact that my birthday is the week before.  No matter how hard I try, I tend to fall into a funk.  It is overwhelming, it is emotional, and it tends to highlight just how vastly different my life is from everyone else’s in my family.  The thing is, somehow, I tend to snap out it once the festivities get going around December 23rd.  I am convinced the antidote is simply more:  plan more time with family, start new traditions, get an earlier start on decorations, maybe bake (I can’t believe I just wrote that).  Do it all.

None of this, of course, is an original idea.  Heck, there is an entire book called Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes (yes, that Shonda Rhimes) that describes what can happen to your life by embracing this idea.  I haven’t read it yet, but I will soon.  I am already taking the idea to heart.  We will see where it goes!  There are many possibilities and many events on the horizon.  Stay tuned!

Saying No