Category Archives: dreams

Interview with Mari L. McCarthy

HYSWJP Bronze

Today I am happy to share an e-mail interview with Mari L. McCarthy.  It is all about the power of journaling!  Check it out below:

  1. Why did you decide to start journaling in the first place?

It was for physical therapy purposes only.  I had an MS episode where I lost most use of the right side of my body, and I needed to teach myself how to write with my left hand ASAP.

  1. When did you notice a connection between journaling and how you felt physically, spiritually, and mentally?

Right away.  I got started with Julia Cameron’s Morning Pages, and the three stream-of-consciousness pages first thing every morning took me on a magical mystery tour.  I started hearing rhymes and started writing poetry for the first time in my life.  And, I started remembering things from my childhood 60 years ago and experiencing it as if it was happening right now.  I was able to process the events through the pages, became aware of how many erroneous thoughts and feelings I was carrying around in my body, and created new thoughts that reduced all kinds of mental, physical and spiritual stress.

  1. Who do you think could benefit most from journaling daily?

Everyone.  We all have had challenging childhoods where we just sucked in everything, including a lot of erroneous thoughts and feelings (I call them issues in our tissues). Journaling provides us the opportunity to understand the origins of our crazy thinking and shows us how to reframe our thought process.

  1. What advice would you give someone who is just starting on their journaling journey?

Journaling is about facing our fears, learning how to manage our negativity and inner critics, and reclaiming our power.  That is monumental behavior change.  Take it easy.  Journaling is about thinking with your heart and soul.  Our overanalytical head has been in change for so long she’s afraid of losing control.  My recommendation is to ask your journal a question and then free-write fast until you feel – my favorite 4 letter F word – like stopping.

  1. What do you think is the biggest roadblock for those who want to make journaling a daily habit and fail to do so?

We are our biggest roadblock.  We are experienced in self-sabotage and in having an unhealthy relationship with ourselves.  Fear has controlled us since forever, and it is scary and a lot of hard work to explore our inner world.  Plus, we were raised to think that alone time is so selfish.  It is a totally new experience to work through the pain and heal our wounds.

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  1. Do you prefer to handwrite or type your journal entries?  Which would you recommend to those new to journaling?

Pen to paper every day is the only way to get all the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health benefits that are available to you from journaling.  Jumping right in and freewriting is a good start.  Make sure you breathe and understand that your head (ego, inner critic, other voices…) will go crazy.  Writing fast will show them you are in charge.

  1. Why do you think journaling has such a profound effect on our lives and how we perceive ourselves?

 I don’t know.  I can only tell you that I have monumentally healed, grown and transformed myself thanks to journaling.  I live a compassionate (!) unconditional love-in with myself, and it grows every day.  In my first book, Journaling Power: How to Create the Happy, Healthy Life You Want to Live, I have results from scientific studies that are researching and monitoring this magical, mysterious self-healing process.

  1. Aside from journaling, how else do you think writing can help us lead better lives?

Writing is creative self-expression, and we have so much inside of us that we’ve been stuffing down for so long.  Writing is giving ourselves permission to be the truly talented (wild and crazy) person we are and share our brilliance with the world.

  1. What do you think we as writers can learn from our journaling patterns (i.e. the topics we keep coming back to time and time again)?

Besides the therapeutic value journaling has, it gives us great ideas for poetry, essays, characters for fiction writing.

  1. Aside from journaling, what advice would you give readers eager to live their best lives?

Carve out “ME” (self-care) time every day where you can just be with yourself.  We’re great doers and care takers and fixers and…. What we need to do is put ourselves first and work on reconnecting and staying connected to our true self every day.

Mari, thank you for sharing such great advice and insight with my readers!  Best of luck with the rest of your blog tour.

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Happy Father’s Day, Dad!

Carpe Diem

In the past, I’ve written Father’s Day pieces for and about Dad. In fact, I shared one of those old pieces with Mid-Michigan Writers at our last meeting. Through that process, I realized that I have a series of stories about my father, not a simple post of memories. That post contains kernels of several stories. In fact, as I read the piece Monday evening, other stories came to mind. It is now a piece I need to dissect, rework, and reorganize – among many other things. It might make a nice companion piece to Dad’s hunting stories when I finally get around to writing them.

So, today, I am not going to share stories about Dad. No. Instead, I am going to share the greatest lesson he ever taught me. My entire life, he taught me that life is short and that you must go after whatever it is you seek. He always did exactly what he wanted to do. It is time for me to do the same. I am not quite there yet, but I am on my way. Happy Father’s Day Dad!

 

Father's Day Canoe

The Road Ahead

New Roads

It’s strange to think how much might change this summer.  A week ago last Friday I finished my school year, and I have no idea what 2019-2020 will bring.  Ideally, I will find a full-time teaching position teaching social studies, Spanish, or business at the middle school or high school level.  It is long overdue.  It is time for a classroom of my own, but where?

Unfortunately, this spring hasn’t exactly gone according to plan.  Something always comes between me and my dreams.  I finally find a place where I can easily see myself teaching, and in the end, I may not have the correct certification to apply for existing openings.  While things are humming along at the canoe livery, the weather has not cooperated yet.  We are waiting on customers.  Where is everyone?

I know that things will come together, but it is the uncertainty that is getting to me.  I wish I had something in place.  I do not know what decision I will make if I do not find a full-time teaching position.  Even though I do not plan or want to move, I may be left with no choice.  Something’s got to give.  Here’s to a summer of new beginnings!

Eyes Closed Quote

Creativity

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I am a firm believer that everyone should have a creative outlet.  It may take some time to find what works for you, but it is so worth it in the end.  I discovered writing as my creative outlet at an early age, but then life got in the way, as it always does.  I hope this time I can make time for what matters.

As I have spent the last several weeks as a substitute teacher in a 4th grade classroom, I’ve enjoyed seeing just how passionate kids are about their hobbies.  I have budding writers, musicians, artists, and athletes in the classroom, not to mention scientists.  We had the best discussions about the US space shuttle program, astronauts, and basic animal genetics.  They are not afraid to ask great questions.  After a science lesson on the effects of long-term exposure to zero gravity on astronauts, one student asked me why we never returned to the moon after the 1969 moon landing.  A quick Google search later, we had our answers, which included the facts that politics largely got in the way and that NASA recently announced possible commercialization of space travel, including a possible return to the moon.  See article here.

I am left with just one question:  What do we do as educators between 4th grade and senior year of high school to suck the creativity out of students?  I like to believe things are changing for the better, but I still see way too much “busy,” mindless work being assigned, especially in middle school.  STEM programs are on the right track, but I do believe they need to include art, or STEAM, as well.  Still, that doesn’t cut it for everyone.  What about students who have no idea how to stick with something long enough to enjoy it?  How do we recognize and deal with the fact that many students are resistant to the idea that failure can help us learn and grow?  We inadvertently teach students that failure is to be avoided at all cost.  For better or worse, it is ingrained in our culture.  High stakes standardized testing anyone?  We need to teach students how to fail effectively:  how to move on and learn from our mistakes.  They need to know on a gut level that failure is inevitable.  We are meant to learn from it.

I am deeply grateful that I found a creative outlet that works for me.  I adored art classes as a child, but I have no ability to draw animals or people.  I am no painter either.  One of my greatest wishes is to have some musical ability.  Sadly, as much as I love music, I have none.  In searching for my creative outlet, I overlooked the obvious:  I am meant to be a writer.  Unfortunately, as a child, I always wanted to be more instead of embracing what I love and can reasonably do without embarrassing myself.  In fact, that is one of my greatest wishes for any of my students past, present, or future:  Find a creative outlet that makes you happy through good times and bad.

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Hello Again!

Writing, oh how I’ve missed you!

Taking a long-term sub position (4th grade) and working to get the canoe livery ready for the summer compelled me to slow down and consider what I want to do with my writing moving forward. I did walk away from this experience with a couple of observations:

1. I need to fit writing into my life, no matter what is going on.

Before starting my long-term sub position, I did get into the routine of writing every day. I do know that if I did it once, I can do it again. It is now a matter of fitting it into my routine no matter what that looks like.

2. I need to plan better.

I underestimated how much time I needed to grade and plan. Day-to-day subbing positions require neither. If I am honest with myself, this entire experience made me realize just what I need to do when I at long last have my own classroom. I know I can make this work; it will just take some time and adjustment. Knowing that the long-term subbing position will be largely over June 1st, I decided to start again. Today.

I do hope that this summer will bring many wonderful things into my life. It is long, long overdue.

More on my spring adventures coming soon!

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Motherhood

Patsy Cline Quote

Mother’s Day will never not be emotional for me.  I am continuously torn between celebrating the wonderful women in my life who made me who I am today – not just Mom, but both my grandmas and Joyce, my childhood neighbor, babysitter, and essentially adopted grandmother – and struggling with my own path to motherhood.  All those women helped shape me morally, spiritually, and intellectually.

Mom, of course, continues to do so.  I still crave her advice.  I am so grateful for her friendship; her example, not only as a mother, but as a teacher, business woman, Christian; and her unconditional love.  All of it.  Somewhere along the path to adulthood, she also became my best friend.

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Mom, Dad, and I ~ 1983

In the past, I dreaded Mother’s Day.  Working retail in my 20s, strangers wishing me a “Happy Mother’s Day!” broke my heart and left me feeling empty.  They all meant well.  That’s the problem:  One never knows who is struggling with infertility, pregnancy, strained relationships, loss, etc.  For the longest time, I felt the same way at church on Mother’s Day, until I no longer did.  A simple acknowledgement that some struggle with a whole variety of issues relating to motherhood made all the difference.  Watching others grieve and acknowledge the loss of their own mothers made me realize that I am far from alone.

If I am completely honest with myself, recent events have made me question whether I do want to adopt, my only path to motherhood.  In fact, it is part of the reason why I have been so silent here lately.  Fortunately, my parents support me no matter what I decide, but what I wouldn’t give to be able to talk to my grandmas and Joyce right now.  I could use their advice and wisdom now more than ever.  All three would have something to say – all different – and force me to think of something I had overlooked.

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Grandma Reid and I ~ 1985

If I do decide not to adopt, the hardest part will be having to change my perception of myself.  I do not remember just how young I was at the time, but the first thing I remember wanting out of life is to be a mother.  Fortunately, that is the beautiful thing about all of this.  If I decide not to adopt, in many ways, I am still a mother.  I have a great relationship with my nephews and niece.  Spending time with my niece the other evening, she randomly told me that she wanted to come spend the night at my house.  It didn’t work out that evening, but a sleepover is in the works once school is out.  I want to be that aunt.  My niblings are finally reaching the ages where I can be that aunt.

As a teacher, I influence children every day.  I truly care for all my students, even if I am just their substitute teacher for a day or two.  It doesn’t matter.  So many students do not have much support at home.  As a teacher, I can put my maternal instincts to good use.  I can be the teacher that cheers them on at school.  I know for a fact that I have already made a difference.  I just need to step it up as I truly start my teaching career.

I may yet decide to adopt, but I need to give myself time and space to make that decision.  I finally concluded that it isn’t the end of the world if I do not.  When and if I do decide to adopt, I can say with certainty that I have thought of all possibilities and outcomes.  If it is meant to be, I know that my son or daughter is out there waiting for me.

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Mom and I ~ 1981

Writing and Life

Sunset Shore 2

I’m not exactly sure when it happened, but I did find my voice. Now to keep it. I admit it: I struggle to fit everything in and cross all my T’s and dot all my I’s, especially this time of year. So many things are coming together, but I am just not quite there yet. I need to fit my writing into my temporary schedule. Maybe now would be a good time to figure out exactly what it is that I want.

So, what do I want out of my writing life? It is simple. I want room in my life to practice writing daily – both personally and here at Ramblings of a Misguided Blonde. I need room to grow as a writer. I now have the proper tools and the right support systems in place: it is just a matter of making time. I also want to keep contributing to other blogs, online publications, etc. Again, I am getting there.

Dolly Parton Quote

Lately my writing made me reevaluate what I want in my personal life. What I’ve written here in earlier pieces is true. On one hand, I do want a family. On the other, it is not the end of the world if it doesn’t happen. I have too many things I want to do in life. What am I willing to give up? What can’t I live without? How am I supposed to make that choice?

I think that is it. Over the last fifteen years or so, I’ve been forced to give up so many things, including several versions of what my life could be. How do I avoid becoming attached to one outcome? There are so many things in my life to explore. I hope I never lose my desire to try new things. That is part of my problem though. It is time I start making some commitments. In doing so, I hope I am never so inflexible that I am unwilling to start over when I need to do so. The day I quit trying is the day I die. I may still physically be here, but that could not be called living.

Who is to say that my life needs to be a certain way? I flat-out reject that idea. I need to do what is best for me. What that looks like now, I’m not sure. I do know I am not quite ready to trust again. At this point, I don’t know if I ever will be. Does it matter? I need to focus on my myself, and if the right man is out there, he will find me. It is time to let it go.

Sunset Shore