Author Archives: lindseyrussell1980

What’s Next?

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Even though I didn’t get as much time as I would like to write this fall, I did grow as a writer and I did learn.  The creative writing course I took this fall left me with a notebook full of writing material.  The entire process brought back so many memories – bad and good.  It also made me take a fresh look at old memories, particularly memories related to some of the best times of my life, my life in Austin.  My quest now is to get into the writing habit, which is one of the main reasons why I decided to blog again.

There were so many days, particularly in September and October, when all I wanted to do is spend the day writing, exploring all of the writing prompts I completed in class.  The more I wrote, the more ideas came flooding in.  The problem became getting them all down on paper in time, before they vanished.  Throughout the semester, we spent five weeks on poetry, five weeks on fiction, and three weeks on creative non-fiction.  Our final project involved compiling a portfolio of pieces from each genre.  As I decided to complete an honors project as well, I took a short story I struggled with for quite some time and decided to write the backstory, what really happened.  The rest of the story, along with a little tweaking of the fiction, came together to create something unique.  I am also happy with some of the poetry I created.  Until this past semester, I never really felt as though I understood poetry.  At least now I get the basics.

The big question now is:  Where do I want to go next?  The next obvious step is to create a daily writing routine.  It may be difficult, but there is no mystery there.  I know what needs to be done.  The real question is what do I want to write:  Fiction, non-fiction, creative non-fiction, screenplay, or something else?  I am torn between working on pieces of a long-term project I have had in the back of my mind for years and working on shorter pieces to send out for potential publication.  Do I focus on my blog or do I polish several pieces that have potential for great short stories?  I also took a screenwriting class this past semester.  As a result, I have the first twenty pages of a script I love.  Do I take the time to finish it?  If I finish it, what then?  Then there are all the memories I associate with particular songs.  Thanks to my experience writing for an online magazine called JamsBio several years ago, I still want to write a series of short pieces discussing some of my favorite songs and the memories I associate with them.  Where does that fit in?  Should it be a series here on my blog or should it stand alone, whether in its own blog or another format?  There are so many questions at the moment.  I need to take some time over the next couple of weeks to come up with a plan.

I am grateful.  There are so many worse issues than too many options.  I call the shots.  I make the decisions.  It is both a blessing and a curse.  It is simply a question of how I choose to spend my time and talents.  We will see what 2016 brings.

Christmas Memories: Santa is Real

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Several years ago now I decided to write about one of my favorite Christmas memories that also happens to be a favorite birthday memory.  I thought it would share it again this evening.

santa_claus 1

The real Santa once came to my birthday party.  About 7 PM he rang the doorbell.  I couldn’t imagine who it could be.  Lee and Elizabeth, Emily and Abby, Danielle and Jennifer, Lois, Lori, Mark, and even my little sister were all there.  In fact, we’d been running around fueled up on pop, pizza, and German chocolate cake, not to mention candy, for the last half hour at least.  As the birthday girl, I wanted to answer the door personally.  I slowly opened the front door only to see Santa in all of red and white glory, big black belt and all.  I couldn’t believe it!  Somehow I must have been a very good girl to receive a personal visit from Santa on my birthday, his busiest time of year, the week before Christmas.

As he settled down to hold court in our formal living room, I looked out the window into our back yard.  Dozens of beautiful whitetail deer!  Deer in my big back yard were not an uncommon sight.  My Dad left the deer a big pile of sugar beets just outside the kitchen window.  We often found little impressions of their nose prints on the French doors in the living room.  But something was different that night.  I had never seen so many deer in my back yard!  They were beautiful playing in the mid-December starlight, their breath hanging in the air.  Magic.

Where were the reindeer?  And Rudolph?  They had to be there.  Why else would all the whitetails come out to play?  It didn’t matter.  I didn’t need any more convincing.  The real Santa somehow knew exactly where Lindsey Jenelle Russell, newly age 7, lived.  At the moment he had her little sister Erica, almost 4, seated on his lap in their very living room.  It was time to get down to business.

It was finally my turn to sit on Santa’s lap.  As Mom and Dad looked on, I whispered in Santa’s ear what I wanted most that Christmas.  I couldn’t help myself.  That year I wanted another Cabbage Patch Kid doll.  I couldn’t get enough of them.  They were cute, they were the perfect size for a dolly, and they even came with their own adoption papers, not to mention great names like Marlena, Isabella, and Crispin.  How could I resist?

After whispering my Christmas wish to Santa I gave him a big hug, a simple way to thank him for coming to my birthday party.  I’m not sure if I remembered my manners and actually said “thank you.”  I hope Santa considered a hug good manners.  How do you say thank you when someone makes your birthday party so special you remember it decades later?  No, “thank you” wasn’t enough.

That Christmas I did get a Cabbage Patch doll.  Maybe Santa is real after all.  Before Santa held court at my birthday party, I’d had my doubts.  Of course, I couldn’t let Erica know.  She was still a Little Kid.  The same Little Kid, of course, who spotted the Tooth Fairy right outside our bedroom window.  My Mom, Dad, and I, much to our amusement, spent a leisurely weekend breakfast listening to Erica describe in detail her beautiful dress, crown, and wand.  I was happy to know that my little sister could dream too.  Big Kids knew that you could never ever catch a glimpse of the Tooth Fairy.  Ever.

Years later I learned Santa’s true identity.  He goes by the name Edwards, and believe it or not, his actual birthday is Christmas day.  He still “plays” Santa from time to time.  As an adult I’ve come to suspect that Mr. Edwards is one of those rare people who truly get the real meaning of Christmas.  He knows it isn’t about toys, gadgets, and money.  It can’t be purchased at the mall.  It is simply creating wonderful memories for children of all ages and spending time with family and friends.  Knowing the truth makes my memories that much sweeter.

Lindsey and Erica

Lindsey and Erica

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Starting Over

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German Chocolate Cake!

German Chocolate Cake!

Today is my 35th birthday.  Over the past several weeks I’ve worked on creating a new blog in the hopes of restarting it today:  December 18th.  Birthdays and holidays have a way of making me reflect on how my life has changed.  When I first moved back to my hometown at the beginning of November 2012, I simply knew that my life needed to change.  I didn’t yet realize how profoundly it would change so quickly.

Over the last few years, blogging took a backseat to dealing with the reality of creating a new life for myself.  After we almost lost my grandma during the winter of 2013, she ended up in a skilled nursing facility nearby.  Unfortunately, she needed much more care than I could give her at that point.  For the first time since 2004, I found myself once again living on my own.

In retrospect, my relationship with Brian should have ended when I moved from Bay City to Omer – or even several years earlier.  Yet, I don’t think either of us were quite ready then.  To this day, we are both too stubborn to admit defeat easily.  In May 2014, we finally faced the inevitable.  While I won’t go into details, it ended in such a way that it was impossible for me to remain friends with him.  I am still working on forgiveness.  The worst part of it all is that I continue to miss his family.  I love his family.  In May it will be two years, and I have yet to date again.  As much as I wish it would at times, a relationship spanning ten years doesn’t just disappear.  You don’t just get that time back.

In 2014, just prior to breaking up with Brian, I lost my Grandma B.  As much as I miss her and love her, I know that she is in a much better place and hopefully with the love of her life, Grandpa.  Out of all of my wonderful grandparents, just my Grandma R. is left.  I still visit her several times a week at the skilled nursing facility where she lives.  It is never easy when in the back of your mind, you still carry around the vision of how things used to be and you are faced with the reality of eventually losing one of the most important people in your life.

One of the biggest changes in my life has to do with my career.  At the end of 2013, at age 33, I made the decision to go back to school to earn my teaching certificate.  Once I complete the program in December 2016, I will be certified to teach middle school and/or high school Spanish and social studies.  The opportunity to go back to school continues to mean the world to me.  In addition to earning my teaching certificate, I decided to earn my writing certificate at a local community college as well.  I just completed my last writing class, and I’ve never enjoyed classes more.

At the end of 2012, my parents decided that they were open to the possibility of my brother and me purchasing their seasonal business, Russell Canoe Livery.  I am happy to say that I’ve spent the last three summers working at the canoe livery and reacquainting myself with a business I’ve loved for as long as I can remember.  It has now reclaimed its rightful place in my life.  I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Looking ahead, 2016 holds so much promise.  In May, my brother and his girlfriend are expecting their second child, a boy who will be name after my grandfathers.  My Dad is finally going to retire and make things official.  After all of these years, I will become a business owner.  Fall 2016 will bring student teaching and an end to my second college career.  I can finally see the end in sight!  It is time that I start to focus on creating the family that I’ve wanted since I was a child.  If that means that I have to adopt as a single woman, so be it.  There is so much that needs to be done before I become a mom.  I’m just glad that nothing is standing in my way after all of these years.

So, what can you expect here?  I’m not quite sure yet, although I doubt most of my new posts will be as personal as this one.  I also plan to focus more on actual writing instead of discussing other websites and blogs, although I may highlight them from time to time.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Me and Grandma