The Enemy Within

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The Trouble With Bright Girls – Psychology Today

Undoubtedly, I am my own worst enemy.  I continually underestimate my capability, and no matter what I’ve achieved, it is never enough.  I am a perfectionist, and it rears its ugly head just when I need it the least.  The sad thing is, this article left me wondering what I would have accomplished if I felt I could try new things as a child, particularly when it came to sports and anything physical.  Once I entered kindergarten, students went out of their way to never let me forget that my body was different.  Always the last chosen for teams in gym class, I soon stopped caring or trying.  It saddens me that every day, children are told that they are not enough, that they shouldn’t even try.

Right now, I need more courage than ever.  I know I have it within me to create the life I am meant to live.  The issue becomes how to get out of my own way.  I am my own worst enemy, and it needs to stop.  Now.  Those voices of those classmates, so intent on pointing out every single physical flaw, still play in a constant loop in my head from time to time.  It is the nagging little voice that tells me that I am not pretty enough, that if it involves anything physical, I will fail.  It tells me that I am unworthy of love.  It never ends.  I have to constantly prove my own worth to myself.  Enough is enough.

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