Category Archives: character

The Power of Pop Culture

Over the last few weeks, I’ve watched as my students in my creative writing club have bonded over pop culture – every form of storytelling one can imagine.  They bonded over books, movies, video games, and above all, music.  Several left ecstatic having met other students who share similar tastes in TV, movies, music, and more.  What is it about pop culture that binds us together?

I just finished The Women by Kristin Hannah, which dives deep into the experiences of field nurses in Vietnam.  Throughout the book, particularly in chapters set in Vietnam, certain songs by a myriad of artists set the scenes without mentioning one lyric.  The names of the songs and artists was enough.  Then there were the clothes.  Set roughly from 1967 to 1982, author Kristin Hannah used descriptions of hair and clothing to add realism and depth to her setting and characters.  As one of the finest pieces of historical fiction I’ve ever read, I will be reviewing the book at a later date.  It is that good.

Up until fairly recently, I would have told you that we used to bond more closely over pop culture in the past.  Growing up in the 80s and 90s, we only had three TV channels for a large chunk of my childhood.  Most hit TV shows were shown on either NBC, ABC, or CBS.  That’s only changed over the past two or three decades.  Shows such as M*A*S*H set ratings records that will probably stand the test of time.  Today, with dozens of streaming services and an endless variety of cable channels, TV viewers have more choices than ever.

Music changed, too.  As a child, I watched MTV and VH1 come into their own.  With shows like Unplugged, Behind the Music, and Pop Up Video shown among a solid stream of increasingly intricate music videos, they were all about the music.  In fact, I recently came across a conversation in which my contemporaries argued that it can be difficult for people of our generation to separate certain songs from their music videos. 

Indeed.  I have a difficult time imagining TLC’s Waterfalls, Michael Jackson’s Thriller, or Jamiroquai’s Virtual Insanity without their iconic videos.  I could name a dozen others.  Today, we have it all at our fingertips.  We can pre-order albums in our medium of choice or subscribe to an all-inclusive music service for a fraction of the price of one traditional CD.  That simple fact made my Xennial heart incredibly happy and angry at the same time.

Personally, when it comes to music, I am glad that I had the opportunity to experience the transition from vinyl to tapes to CDs to MP3s to streaming services … and all the way back to vinyl for collectors.  I watched as a wide-eyed little girl as Madonna and Michael Jackson exploded onto the scene, respectively becoming the Queen and King of Pop, ushering in a new era of great music.  Thanks to my Gen X elders, I developed a deeper appreciation for 80s music, expanding beyond pop rock.

Today, there are infinitely more choices out there.  Yet, it is easier than ever to connect to other fans of your favorite TV shows, movies, music, books, and so much more.  No more annoying dial up, parents or siblings waiting not so patiently to use the phone.  Things might be a bit fragmented, but when you find your tribe, there is no doubt.

Classic TV Endings – Cheers (1982-1993)

At times, the ending of a TV series works, and at others, it doesn’t (I’m looking at you Seinfeld!).  When Cheers aired its final episode in May 1993, I watched.  I remember Shelley Long (Diane) returning and the cast partying as it aired (infamously so), but I do not remember it being so poignant.  The final scenes with Sam and Norm, and later, Sam alone in the bar, are now among my favorite TV series endings of all time.

Growing up, I adored Cheers.  I watched it with my parents every week.  As an adult, I rewatched the series.  The characters still hold up.  It wasn’t just the main characters – Sam, Diane, Coach, Carla, Woody, and Rebecca – that drew us back every week, but an entire complimentary cast of characters capable of anything – Norm and Cliff, not to mention Frasier and Lillith.  The episode in which we met Lillith remains one of the funniest.  Throughout the rest of the series, Dr. Lilith Sternin-Crane developed into one of the funniest and quirkiest female characters on TV.  She is still one of my favorite TV characters after all these decades.

Who can forget Lilith? Enough said.

Aside from all of the laughs and hijinks throughout the series, the humanity of all of the characters (every last one deeply flawed) shined through.  Yet, the last scenes of the final episode hit me right in the gut.  It isn’t every day that a TV show can make you deeply and profoundly appreciate what you have.

It starts innocently enough.  Norm stays after everyone else heads out after welcoming Sam back to the bar after escaping marriage to Daine yet again.  He didn’t want anyone else to hear what he has to say, and he’s up for one last beer, of course.  He tells Sam that love is the true meaning of life.  He continues to state that people are always faithful to their one true love, that he’d be unable to be unfaithful to her.  When Sam asks whom that would be, Norm simply states “Think about it, Sam,” smiles, and leaves, setting up the final shots of Sam in the bar alone.

Alone in his bar, Sam slowly realizes that it is his bar that is the love of his life.  He recognizes just how much it, and all those in it, mean to him.  He even straightens Coach’s framed portrait of Geronimo before closing up.  In a clever twist, the final shot of Sam closing up and heading towards the back entrance of the bar mirrors the opening of the series in which Sam makes his way to the front of the bar as he is opening up for the day.

Nearly 30 years ago … Working with Grandma Reid at the canoe livery.

All I can say is this:  As someone who has spent her entire life watching her parents and grandparents build a family business – and as someone who will one day fully take over said business with her brother – I get it.  Boy, do I ever get it.  I can’t imagine my life without the canoe livery.  I hope that I never have to do so.  It is the people – employees (current and former) and customers – that make the business, along with the river and the land itself. I’m lucky, indeed.

I say it often, but we have the best customers.  I estimate that 99% of our customers are great.  The remaining 1% make for great stories.  We are currently winding down for the year, but when spring comes once again, I will be ready to start it all over again.

Dr. Fraiser Crane in one of the longest-running TV characters in history.
The reboot of Fraiser will soon start its second season.

Childhood Antics

July 1984 – Tawas, Michigan – Hamming it up with my Schneider and McTaggart cousins at Aunt Tara and Uncle Bill’s wedding. Thank you Aunt Amy for helping me locate this picture!

Sometimes, a picture can bring up a wide-range of emotions:  joy, sadness, nostalgia, and everything else.  Earlier this summer, I sent my aunts on a search for the picture above.  It had been on my mind for some time.  I consider it one of the definitive photos of my childhood; one that has always stood out.  First, Grandma Buttrick had it framed in one of the back bedrooms of her house for many years.  I always enjoyed coming across it during visits.  For that reason alone, the picture remains a favorite.

While I was too young to remember having the picture taken at my Aunt Tara’s wedding to Uncle Bill in July of 1984, I grew up hearing all about it.  I can’t tell you how many times I heard the story of how I, at three years old, took the instruction to smile at everyone as a flower girl walking down the aisle much too literally.  I stopped at every pew.  At the end of the ceremony, I cried and ran after my mom as she left the church in the processional as a bridesmaid.  I didn’t understand that I just needed to follow my older cousins.  My only memory from that day is a hazy notion of playing at the beach on the animal-shaped play equipment at the Tawas City park during the reception.

July 1984 – Smiling for the camera right after the ceremony …
Thank you to Aunt Tara for locating this gem.

In the picture, I see myself as a little girl full of personality and character.  There is no doubt that I was a ham like my mom, an extrovert.  When I look at this picture, I see “before.”  Before self-doubt, before losing self-confidence, before I realized that my body is, and always has been, all wrong; in other words, before kindergarten.  Prior to kindergarten, no one – not my parents, grandparents, cousins, other adults, other children, or preschool classmates – made me feel inferior in any way.  No one asked me to be something that I wasn’t, no one called me fat or ugly.  I could be myself.

Don’t get me wrong, I loved school.  I would not be a teacher today if that wasn’t the case.  I loved learning, I had some great teachers, and most of my classmates were great.  Yet, I dreaded gym and recess all throughout elementary school.  In gym, always picked last for any game, I just wanted to be good enough.  During recess, other students started picking up on just how different my body is and was.  When you hear that you are fat and ugly on a daily basis at that young of age, you start to believe it.  It becomes a part of you.

1985 – Playing @ The Cottage on Sage Lake with McTaggart and Schneider cousins.

Oddly, things improved a bit during junior high.  I cared about my grades, others didn’t.  Suddenly, I didn’t care so much about peer pressure.  I began to see it for what it was, even though I would have given anything to be what was then considered “normal.”  Keep in mind that this included the era of grunge, emo, and heroin chic.  Any “normal” adolescent felt inadequate when faced with the popular culture of the time. While I finally did come into my own in high school and college, this picture makes me wonder what I missed all those years in-between.  What if I hadn’t had to work so hard for self-confidence?  What if I could have kept that early childhood enthusiasm and creativity?  What if I hadn’t turned inward in the face of constant bullying in elementary school?  What could I have accomplished?  What if?  That is what this picture represents:  possibility. Unadultered possibility.

The Wonder Years

Orginally posted on an earlier version of my blog, the post below still holds true.

Where do I even start?  I don’t think another TV show ever meant as much to me as The Wonder Years.  As I grew up watching the show as a child, I wanted to be Winnie Cooper.  I loved her look.  I wanted to have the same long brown hair and dark brown eyes.  She even looked great when she pouted, which occurred just about any time she talked to Kevin.  Something intangible about the show, and Winnie Cooper, stuck with me through the years.

That isn’t even to mention the star of the show, Kevin Arnold.  How could any girl resist all of the attention and love he gave Winnie?  I don’t think any adolescent girl has ever been as greatly admired and loved as Winnie Cooper.  None of it seemed to matter to her.  Of course, that is exactly what frustrated me with the show; it is also what made the show great.  The audience never knew week to week whether or not Kevin and Winnie would be together.   In the end, it wasn’t to be.  Winnie went off to study art history in Paris and Kevin went on to start a family of his own, without her.  Here is a link to a  wonderful Top 10 of Winnie and Kevin together.

18

I LOVE all of the items on this list! Check it out if you have a few minutes.

What is it about being 18 that makes it so special?  My best guess is that 18 represents a sweet spot.  While childhood is largely behind you at 18, you are legally an adult.  There are few things that one is not old enough to do at 18 – with the exception of legally drinking, renting a car, or reserving a hotel room.  Yet, there are plenty of youthful years left.  At the same time, high school is now behind you – or about to be.  It is time to look ahead.  Many 18 year olds have yet to figure out exactly what they want to do when it comes to a career or post-secondary education.  The possibilities are endless.

I distinctly remember 18 and being so excited to move on from high school and my hometown.  I could not get to Michigan State fast enough.  A lot of time, preparation, and hard work made my years at Michigan State a success.  My wish for all 18 year olds and all members of the class of 2024 is for them to experience that sense of wonder and endless possibility for themselves.

Little Bo

Nickname

I love nicknames.  They play a big role in my family life, and frankly, it is how we show we love one another.  Some of my best and earliest memories involve various nicknames Grandpa Buttrick gave me as a child.  In fact, I distinctly remember him actually calling me by my given name when I was about 10 years old.  It stood out because he never called me Lindsey.  In fact, he called me everything but (see list below).  I thought I was in trouble!  Fortunately, I wasn’t.

Well, somewhere along the line Mom picked up the nickname habit from her dad.  The latest nickname she gave me is “Little Bo.”  I love it.  My dad’s name is Bob (aka Bo), and I earned every bit of that nickname.  I am very much my father’s daughter.  When I feel strongly about something, people know.  So, in honor of my newest nickname, I decided to compile a list of nicknames I’ve been given over the years – and the people who gave them to me and the stories behind them.

Lindo – Perhaps my most common nickname, mostly used by Mom’s family and probably given to me by Grandpa Buttrick.  Bonus:  It means beautiful in Spanish, even if the masculine form.

Ed – Given to me by Grandpa Buttrick when I was a baby.  I have no idea.  Ed happened to be the name of his best friend.

Ankle Biter #3 – I am the third grandchild on the Buttrick side.  My cousin Abby bit my dad’s ankle when she was a toddler, and none of us lived it down.  Again, given by Grandpa Buttrick.

Rifle River Rat #1 – I am the oldest Russell child – and we are river rats.  Again, Grandpa Buttrick.

Lonzo – Only Dad can call me Lonzo.  Period.

Buckshot – Grandpa Reid gave me this nickname when I was an infant.

Gypsy – Grandpa Reid always called Grandma and I his gypsies.  I am still always on the go.

Sugarfoot – Grandma Reid somehow came up with this one.  Since she passed away in 2017, Mom decided to bring it back.

Rosie – Given to me by Grandma Reid due to my complexion.

Itchy – My brother Garrett gave me this nickname years ago.  I have no idea why.  I have taken to calling him Scratchy ala The Simpsons.

Little Bo – Given to me by Mom because I can channel my dad all too well at times.

Yes, I am loved!

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“The Great Alone” by Kristin Hannah

Robert Service
Sometimes a novel ends up giving me the worst case of wanderlust. That is precisely what happened with The Great Alone by Kristin Hannah. I thoroughly enjoyed the novel. The Alaskan wilderness itself comes across loud and clear as a distinctive character. I particularly enjoyed descriptions of how Alaska changed from the 1970s to the 1980s. These descriptions were normally accomplished through Leni’s observations. It is this Alaska in all of its forms that I plan to visit one day.

It just so happens that I read the novel in the midst of a severe winter weather crisis that affected most of Michigan. Something about being housebound for a few days added to my enjoyment of The Great Alone. I kept telling myself “at least it isn’t as bad as winter in Alaska. At least I have power and indoor plumbing.” It made me feel better about my circumstances and helped me to empathize with the characters to some extent.
The characters throughout are wonderful. I particularly enjoyed Leni’s view of the world, her love of Matthew, and the protectiveness she exhibits towards her mother Cora. Ernst, Leni’s father, is, of course, a complex character designed to make us uncomfortable and question what we know about family dynamics. He largely drives the plot, and he is the reason why the Allbright moved to the Alaskan wilderness from Seattle in the first place.

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Secondary characters that I particularly enjoyed were Large Marge, Mr. Walker, Geneva Walker, and Matthew. Even though Geneva Walker does not play a large role in the novel, her presence is felt until the end. Matthew’s tenacity, dedication, and love for the women in his life is exemplary. Mr. Walker seems to try to hold it all together under the worst circumstances. He even expands his business in the process. I admire his entrepreneurial spirit.

Then there is Large Marge. She makes it her business to know all that goes on in Kaneq. What may seem to be simple nosiness elsewhere may just save a life in wild Alaska. Her steady presence tends to help make everything right, even in the face of the worst situations. She knows how to handle just about anything. In many ways, I want to be like Large Marge when I grow up.

I largely focused on the characterization in this novel simply because I don’t want to give away much. The novel is definitely action driven. I will leave it at that. If you are looking for a solid adventure novel, this is it. In my opinion, it has the right balance of description and action. In the end, I truly cared about the characters – or at least most of them. I would recommend The Great Alone by Kristin Hannah.

Warning: The discussion questions include spoilers!

As a side note, I read this for the Standish-Sterling Book Club. This is very much the type of book I would hope I’d discover on my own eventually. You can find discussion questions for The Great Alone here.

Great Alone

Book Review: Girl, Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis

Girl

I recently read Girl, Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis per my sister’s recommendation.  Actually, it all started with the meme above.  I then found out that my sister loved the book.  Of course, it immediately moved to the top of my to be read pile.  I love the fact that I belong to a family that shares and recommends books!

Here are a few gems from the book and my thoughts. There are many more I could share here, but I will leave you to discover them yourself.  I highly recommend the Kindle version of the book as it allows the reader to highlight important passages without defacing a physical book.

Sometimes choosing to walk away, even if it means breaking your own heart, can be the greatest act of self-love you have access to. – Page 53.

This just seems to sum up the process I put myself through this summer.  The sad part is that I should have definitively learned this lesson years ago.  I wish everyone, women and men, knew this before heading off to college – or shortly thereafter.  It ultimately would have saved me so much time and heartache.

I knew I was letting my fear control me, that the worry about giving my heart away again only to have it stomped on kept me from taking a next step.  In the midst of such heartache, it’s hard not to worry.  I cried so many tears, thinking, Lord, why would you put this desire on my heart if it wasn’t ever going to come true?  And, God, if we try again, you’re not actually sending my heart out to be slaughtered, right? – Page 108.

Oh, have I been there!  More than once.  There are times when I still wonder how I will ever be able to trust again.  It is not easy to pick ourselves up and try again.  Yet, we must.

I want you to see someone who kept showing up again and again, even when it was tearing her apart.  I want you to see someone who kept walking in faith because she understood that God’s plan for her life was magnificent – even if it was never easy.  And even if it wasn’t easy, she was bold and courageous and honest even when the truth was hard to share. – Page 173

I admit, lately I have struggled to have faith that God does indeed have a plan for my life.  I am currently slogging through it all to figure out exactly what that plan is.  If I am meant to have a family of my own, why haven’t I been able to make it work yet?  Why is that the big unnegotiable of my life if, indeed, it is impossible?  I ask myself questions similar to this all the time.  Ultimately, it is not my timing, but God’s.  It will eventually work out.  Until then, I just need to be patient and keep working.  It will never be easy.

As you can see, I loved the book.  It is a great example of a book that came into my life at the exact time I needed to read it.  I happened to read it just as I was struggling with these questions.  While I would recommend the book to every young woman I know, it doesn’t mean I think the book is perfect.

If fact, in one sense, the book left me feeling unsettled.  It is a feeling I get whenever I get too involved in anything related to religion.  What no one seems to address in organized religion – and Rachel seems to unintentionally fall into this – is that not all women will end up married and become mothers.  Singles in the church, particularly those no longer in their twenties, seem to get left behind.  Whether explicit or implicit, the focus always seems to be on marriage and family.

While I think Rachel was right to spend much of her book focused on marriage and motherhood – after all, this book shares her life experiences – she doesn’t address what happens if you do end up alone.  She doesn’t even seem to acknowledge the possibility even though she goes out of the way to address situations not her own.  This may not be true, but it appears she assumes everyone will end up married and a mother.  A simple acknowledgement would have served the book well.  Then again, maybe I am reading way too much into this and too sensitive.  It doesn’t matter.  The book itself is great, and I highly recommend it.

By the way, I love how she addresses adoption in this book.  I am so glad I read this book before I started the adoption process.  Her family’s story related to foster care and adoption is not an easy one, but it does have a wonderful outcome.  In the end, that is all that matters.

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Book Review: The Storyteller by Jodi Picoult

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I just finished reading The Storyteller by Jodi Picoult.  I found it difficult to put down, and that hasn’t happened for quite some time.  That isn’t to say that I didn’t find issue with some parts of the book.  It simply means that I enjoyed the overall story, particularly Minka’s story of survival during World War II.  I could certainly relate to Sage as well, particularly to her desire for solitude and her relationship with her grandmother.  Unfortunately, I found several things about the modern story to be “off.”  If you are planning to read the novel, you might want to stop here.  Please keep in mind that these are just my opinions.

First, let’s start with Sage.  I couldn’t quite reconcile her personality with her actions.  She may be an atheist and she may harbor lots of guilt, but that doesn’t seem to be enough for her to become deeply involved with married man (Adam).  Being a guilt-ridden atheist doesn’t make one lack moral judgement.  In fact, I would say that her guilt demonstrates that she does indeed have a moral compass.  She even grudgingly agrees with Mary that her relationship with Adam is inherently flawed.  If she was so guarded in her human interactions that she chose to work alone overnight as a baker, why wouldn’t she see all the potential pitfalls in their relationship?  Not only is Adam a funeral director in their shared small town, which practically guarantees that he knows most people in town, he works for his father-in-law.  If Sage was so intent on punishing herself by remaining in an adulterous relationship with Adam, why wouldn’t she consider those who would be hurt by its revelation, namely Adam’s wife and children? It just doesn’t add up.

Then we get to Adam.  Sage already told Adam that she wanted to break it off.  He then doubles down and divorces his wife.  Sage then definitively breaks it off with him.  None of it makes sense to me.  I can understand why Adam decided to divorce if he felt so strongly about Sage; however, wouldn’t one think that he would check with Sage before he just throws his marriage and possibly his career out the window?  It is this impulsiveness in the present-day story that gets to me, which leads me to Leo.

I find Leo to be the most troubling character in the novel.  Something just doesn’t sit well with me.  He waltzes in and sweeps her off her feet with no real backstory.  The backstory available is hardly worth mentioning, and frankly, cliched.  At least it takes Sage a little while to realize that she is falling for Leo.  That doesn’t appear to be the case with Leo.  He fell for Sage practically the moment he met her.  His old-world manners and mannerisms could be charming if they were more fully developed, but that just isn’t the case.  I am all for a happy ending, but Sage and Leo’s relationship at the end appears false and forced in a way that I can’t quite decipher.

In the end, it doesn’t really matter.  Minka’s writing and real-life story make the novel well worth reading, even if she appears to be the only well-rounded character in the novel.  It is enough.  I highly recommend taking the time to read this book, particularly if interested in the World War II era at all.

On a personal note, I finally realized why W.M. found his way into my subconscious lately (read here).  Somehow, I connected Leo’s character with W.M.  I am not sure why, but I did.  I am happy I figured it out!  Mysteries like that have a nasty way of staying with me.  Now to figure out why.

 

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There Are No Words

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This fall, a certain set of circumstances made me begin to doubt myself in a way I never knew was possible.  As I have stated so many times here, the very first thing I ever remember wanting out of life is a family of my own.  For me, that means adoption.  I have questioned whether I will be able to do it on my own for quite some time, but this fall was different.  It was personal in a way I never imagined, and I began to doubt whether I truly want to be a mother at all.

It became a slippery slope, and I began to question everything in my life.  What do I really want?  I shouldn’t still be asking these questions at 36 (now 37).  I have failed so many times on so many levels that I began to wonder what is so fundamentally wrong with me.  After a while, I let go of certain dreams.  I would love to meet the right man, get married, and adopt.  After all this time, I am beginning to doubt that it will ever happen.

Over these last few trying weeks, I realized that I can’t give up on my dream of having a family.  I am supposed to be a mother.  Giving up on that dream, even briefly, left me absolutely devastated.  I will eventually be exactly where I need to be.  Until then, I will keep trying.  That is all I can do at this point.

Even as I write this, I wonder why I am sharing something so intensely personal.  As always, it comes down to this:  I know that I am not the only one struggling with these decisions.  If someone else can benefit by realizing that he or she is not alone, it will be more than worth it.

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