Tag Archives: loss

Living History – Part 1

(Written March 2, 2026)

I do not want to turn this into a political discussion, but world events over the last several weeks have only served to underscore how we are watching history unfold daily at this point.  First, Venezuela.  A young Venezuelan business student became one of the first students I met in the Eli Broad College of Business at Michigan State.  In fact, I may have met her at the Broad Business Student Camp I attended the summer before my senior year of high school.  Sadly, after all of these decades, I cannot remember her name.  Prior to meeting her, I didn’t know or realize that in the late 1990s, Venezuela had one of the most developed economies in all of Latin America.  All thanks to oil, of course.  I do remember that she was about to graduate and head home.  As Venezuela fell under Chavez’s dictatorship and became a Communist country, I often thought of her and the Venezuelan people.  What happened to the future she planned during her time at Michigan State?

After Maduro’s downfall a few weeks ago, I can’t help but continue to watch Facebook Reels and Tiktoks of the Venezuelan people celebrating and praying for a bright future for Venezuela.  So many left years ago.  So many families separated for decades.  I can’t begin to understand what they have been through the last 25 years.  I pray that it will soon come to an end.

And now, Iran.  To put things into perspective, Iran has been under the control of Ayatollah Khomeini since before I was born.  Even though the hostages were taken nearly a year before I was born, they were still in the news when I finally arrived.  It would take another month for them to finally be freed.  Most people don’t realize what Iran was like before it became a brutal theocracy oppressing all until its control, especially women.  Research it for yourself. It is eye-opening. Some seem to forget this, but A Handmaid’s Tale is partly inspired by the oppression of women in Iran (much more to come on that topic at a later date).  Prior to the revolution, women were not segregated from men in public.  They were not in theory or legally property of their husbands or nearest male relatives.  There were no requirements to wear a hijab or simply fade into the background of society.  Women fully participated in society.

Over the last couple of days, I’ve been watching Reels and TikToks, impassioned pleas from Iranian-Americans, extremely grateful for the fall of Kholmeini.  The descriptions of what their relatives have endured in recent history, particularly over the last few months, is heart wrenching.  I’ve watched an Iranian-American woman describe how their mom group chats here in the US detail the logistics of school and sporting events, while their sister mothers in Iran debate the risk and daily terror of sending their children to school at all.  Another woman described how she wished her grandmother was alive to see this.  In 1980, her grandmother was jailed, raped, and tortured by the regime, all for being an artist. I never dreamed that I would see the day when Iranian-Americans would take to the streets of Los Angeles to celebrate the fall of the Iranian government. Think about that and what a powerful statement that is.

I will never understand how people can condemn these actions.  Do they not see the decades of suffering?  Do they not see the oppression? Do they not see how governments such as Iran destabilize everything?  If you don’t believe me, take a look at how much support the US has from other countries in the Middle East.  This isn’t Vietnam.  This isn’t Iraq.

A Few of My Favorite Things: Grandma Reid’s Senior Picture

Julia Suszko’s senior portait. She graduated from Sterling High School in 1942.

(Originally Written February 20, 2026)

In all honesty, most of my favorite possessions aren’t worth much on the surface.  I value sentimentality, nostalgia, and family connections.  One of my prized possessions is actually a framed copy of Grandma Reid’s senior picture.  More than anything, as someone interested in genealogy, I love the story behind it.

Let me set the stage:  First, Grandma and I were always close.  I’m not exactly sure why; we just were.  We were always going somewhere.  She took my siblings, cousins, friends, and I on all sorts of adventures, and I’ve always cherished those times. I am so grateful that she was such a huge part of my childhood, and quite frankly, along with my parents, one of my first teachers.

Coincidentally, one of my dad’s first cousins, Lugene, became obsessed with genealogy.  In fact, it rubbed off on me.  Thanks to Lugene, I know so much about the Suszko side of my dad’s family, Grandma Reid’s family of origin.  Whenever I had a genealogical question, I called Lugene. We even served on the board for the Huron Shores Genealogy Society together for several years.

I’m not exactly sure when it happened, but once Grandma’s older sister Kay (Polenz) passed away, Lugene obtained a pristine copy of Grandma’s senior portrait.  It looks brand new, even though it dates to 1941 or 1942.  It even has a 1940s, artdeco-esque frame.  Well, Lugene felt that I should be its rightful owner.  She gave me that framed portrait, which I cherish. It now sits in my curio cabinet with a vintage methods textbook and figurine of a small girl bundled up for winter waiting at a school bus stop, both given to me by my sister Erica, a fellow teacher. It is fitting considering my grandmother’s love of school; even in her last days, her school stories remained. I like to think that she’d love the fact that I now teach virtually from her home.

Sadly, Lugene passed away in September 2016, while Grandma Reid passed away in January of 2017.  They were two of my absolute favorite people, and now I own one simple item that will always hold memories of them both.

Ghost – The Future is a Foreign Land (2024)

Ghost – The Future is a Foreign Land (2024) (Official Video) (Lyrics)

(Written February 10, 2026)

One of the absolute highlights of the chaos that was 2025 happened to be seeing Ghost in Grand Rapids in July.  The only live performance I’ve ever seen that even came close to Tobias Forge and company was Ringo Starr and his All-Star Band.  I left Van Andel Arena in absolute awe.  I would gladly go see Ghost again.

The funny thing is that when John and I bought tickets early in 2025, I really only knew their song Little Miss Sunshine.  I wanted to check out something new.  By the time John and I drove all over northern Michigan on our way to the concert (another story altogether), I’d become a full-fledged fan and knew half of their setlist.  Even that didn’t prepare me for what I was about to experience.  Tobias Forge’s stage presence is on an entirely different level.

Somewhere along the line, I couldn’t get the Ghost song The Future is a Foreign Land out of my head.  I blame my love of storytelling.  Add in a solid literary reference (Orwell’s 1984) mixed with historical references (brownshirts, Kennedys, etc.), how could I resist?  Then there is the video.  In my opinion, the animation is perfect.  The 60s/70s eve of destruction vibe works well.  Their animated videos tend to be among my favorites.  The Future is a Foreign Land, however, almost manages to romanticize the end of it all, and asks us all to become better people for it.

After the concert, I asked myself why The Future is a Foreign Land looms so large in my imagination.  Then I thought about what it means Gen X, or in my case, Xennial.  In the world we were born into, it has always been one minute to midnight.  The threat of nuclear war is a constant that’s never going away.  As a generation, we seem to have a fatalist streak, and it is no coincidence that my peers’ children grew up on series like The Hunger Games and Divergent.  In fact, The Future is a Foreign Land can be added to a dystopian playlist, which could include:

Eve of Destruction – Barry McQuire (1965)

99 Luftballons – Nena (1983) (I prefer the German language version)

It Is the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine) – R.E.M (1987)

We Didn’t Start the Fire – Billy Joel (1989)

Zombie – The Cranberries (1994) (or Rock Orchestra)

If you grew up on 80s rock and/or metal, you need to check out Ghost if you haven’t already.  Definite 80s vibes in the best possible way.

Welcome February!

2025 started off pretty well, but I’m just getting started.  There is so much more I wanted to accomplish, but days rush by, especially when fighting off the January “ick.”  My writing really took a nosedive and a backseat.  Fortunately, it is NOT for a lack of ideas.  In fact, it is quite the opposite.  I have too many.  I need to prioritize and mix it up.  Here are a few things to look forward to in 2025.

Gen X

I’ve been floating around this idea for months.  It gets right to the heart of my best and deepest childhood memories.  Between belonging to a fun Xennial Facebook group (NOT SFW) and discovering hysterical Gen X content creators discussing everything from the 70s-90s, I can relate.  Aside from the childhood nostalgia, they are discussing the perils of becoming the default mediators between Baby Boomers and Millennials, perimenopause (or just menopause), and the weirdness of some being the parents of grown children while others have toddlers or even infants.  There is something for everyone.

My favorites so far:

  • The “virtual” dodgeball game between some of the more well-known Gen X content creators.
  • The elaborate storylines, complete with 80s costumes, of some of the creators.  There are two in particular who created an entire world of characters just using their imaginations, along with costuming and makeup techniques.  Both are incredibly talented!

Frankly, my childhood would not have been the same without Gen X.  They were always the “cool” older kids – namely my cousins (all girls) and the teens who worked at the canoe livery every summer – all of whom introduced me to the best music, slang, and fashions of the ‘80s.  I distinctly remember wanting to replicate some of my cousins’ outfits and being so eager to grow up.

As much as I can relate to Gen X, I am definitely not strictly Gen X.  While technically Gen X ends in 1980, I was born December 18th, 1980, just two weeks away shy of 1981 and being classified a Millennial.  If anyone is on the cusp of those two generations, it is me.  As a result, I am a Xennial (1977-1983), with characteristics of both generations.

Grandma Reid @ 100

January 22nd, 2025 would have been Grandma Reid’s 100th birthday.  She always told my sister and me that she’d live to be 100 to “haunt you girls.”  Then, she’d laugh as only she could.  Gratefully, she lived a long, full life, passing away the day before her 92nd birthday in 2017.  Still, I am left with so many memories and lessons, especially now that I am well into my 40s.  It all deserves to be mentioned.

1925

1925 played a pivotal role in my family history.  Two of my grandparents were born in 1925, Grandma Reid and Grandpa Buttrick, and my second great-grandfather, A.G. Forward, started Forward Corporation, which would become the reason why my maternal grandparents eventually moved to Standish.  My parents would have likely never met otherwise.

Grandpa Buttrick @ 100

Born on April 1st, 1925, he definitely needs to be commemorated as well.  He taught me a lot, and if I hadn’t moved back to Michigan in 2005, I would not have known him nearly as well as an adult.  He, along with my dad, are the original inspirations for my decision to study business.  It has served me well!  Sometimes I think I learned just as much from them, and the companies they headed for so many years, as I did from my formal education.

Music

Not only are there dozens of songs I need to add to my mixtape, I have much to say about Oasis’s recent attempt to join the 90s nostalgia craze in concerts, not to mention the fact that Ringo, now well into his 80s, recently released a #1 album, country no less.  Also, I didn’t fully realize this until fairly recently, but I belong to a generation that closely associated music videos with the music we love.  That just doesn’t happen much anymore.  There is a reason why there are jokes stating that MTV only provided approximately 15 years of music.  We still want our MTV!

Book Reviews

Book reviews consistently get the most traffic, and I adore writing them.  I am way behind.  In fact, The Women by Kristin Hannah still haunts me, and it will continue to haunt me until I write a review.  I loved that book, and I consider it one of the best pieces of historical fiction I’ve ever read.  Then there is The Frozen River by Ariel Lawhon, another great piece of historical fiction.  Of course, there are others I need to review as well.

The Supply Chain Lens

In light of all that has transpired over the last several years, I feel compelled to share what keeps me awake at night.  It all involves supply chains and our manufacturing capability.  It is far more interesting that it sounds, I promise.  Also, I plan to keep it as non-political as possible, even though I feel we have all been fooled.  Even though I did not necessarily pursue a career in supply chain management, my business education forever colored how I see the world.

As you can see, lots of great things to come!  Welcome February!

Book Review: Prairie Man by Dean Butler

Dean Butler as Almanzo Wilder
in Little House on the Priarie

This year, the TV show Little House on the Prairie celebrates 50 years since its television debut.  Oh, and does that show still have a following.  To celebrate, several events were held at various locations throughout the country, including most of the homesites of the Ingalls and Wilder families.  They even recreated several of the sets at Big Sky Movie Ranch in Simi Valley, California, where most of the series was filmed.  Infamously, the last installment of the series saw the original set of the town literally destroyed as part of the plot.  Under the terms of filming, the producers of Little House on the Prairie contractually had to return the land to its original condition.

So, where does Prairie Man by Dean Butler come in?  First, the book debuted this summer in the midst of all of the events.  Second, and most importantly, Dean Butler, who played Almanzo Wilder in the last years of the series, and Alison Arngrim, the one and only Nellie Oleson, who famously penned Confessions of a Prairie B*tch, have worked tirelessly to keep the legacy of the TV show alive.  In fact, this entire year, they decided to host a podcast dedicated to all things relating to the 50th anniversary of the Little House on the Prairie TV show.

Prairie Man stands out for a couple of reasons.  First, I may not be technically correct on this, but I believe that Dean Butler is the oldest surviving male cast member.  Several actors that played young boys on the series survive, but the grown men, including Michael Landon, Victor French, Richard Bull, and Dabs Greer, just to name a few, are long gone.  While there are several memoirs written by female cast members, including two alone written by Melissa Gilbert, Prairie Man is the only one written by a man. 

While I’ve only read Confessions of a Prairie B*tch by Alison Arngrim (you can read my review here) and Prairie Man by Dean Butler, they could not be more different.  I loved both, but I enjoyed Butler’s sense of history, not to mention his diplomatic handling of tensions between fans of the books and fans of the TV show.  He addressed all of the controversies surrounding both series well.

I learned a lot.  While I knew that Rose Wilder Lane’s “adopted” grandson, Roger Lea McBride, ended up with the television rights to the novels, I did not know the full story.  The real story is included in Prairie Man.  In the early 70s, Ed Friendly purchased the rights from McBride due to his wife’s and daughter’s love of the books.  Only when Michael Landon became involved as executive producer, taking the TV show further and further from the original books, did trouble occur.  According to Butler, Roger Lea McBride became horrified when realized what he had done.  Like Friendly, he envisioned a TV series much more faithful to the books.

The real Almanzo Wilder, subject of Farmer Boy by Laura Ingalls Wilder

Eventually, all of this grew tension between Landon and Friendly.  Landon’s vision, of course, ultimately prevailed.  It may have been for the best.  Ask yourself, how many children and adults were introduced to the books via the TV show?  Alison Arngrim even admitted that she didn’t read the books until after being cast as quite possibly the best child villain ever portrayed on television, Nellie Oleson.  Michael Landon may have taken extreme creative license, but love it or hate it, Little House on the Prairie, the television show, is still shown all over the world in syndication 50 years later.  It will not die.

The funny thing is that I used to blame Roger Lea McBride for selling the rights to the television series and Michael Landon for what it became.  I used to view the Little House series of books as a cautionary tale as to what can happen if an author’s legacy isn’t well-guarded or just ends up in the hands of attorneys.  For those who don’t know, Rose Wilder Lane never had children (she never formally adopted Lea), and thus, with her death in 1968, Laura Ingalls Wilder and Almanzo Wilder no longer had any direct descendents.  I see it differently today.  I suppose I now subscribe to the old saying “any publicity is good publicity.”

While I probably would have discovered all of the books on my own, especially after my 2nd grade teacher, Mrs. Butz, read Little House in the Big Woods to our class, I doubt any of it would have left such a lasting impression without the TV show.  Early elementary school would not have been the same without it.  I distinctly remember jumping off the bus after school, pigtails flying behind me, eager to catch the 4 PM reruns.  Funny note:  Due to the fact that I grew up on the reruns, I thought Dean Butler was significantly younger, by at least a decade, than he actually is.  His book, of course, made this clear.

Today, I am not necessarily a fan of the TV show, although I do greatly admire what Dean Butler and Alison Arngrim have done for all Little House on the Prairie fans.  I suppose I am not a typical fan.  Normally, most people are devoted fans of the books or the TV show, not necessarily both.  More than anything, I am a huge fan of the real person, the writer herself, the real Laura.  Her true story is far more fascinating than just the books.  She lived an incredibly full additional 70 years after the life she described in all of her books.  When you add in all of the drama surrounding her only daughter, Rose Wilder Lane, it justifies all of the relatively new scholarly work surrounding the Ingalls and Wilder families.  There are still so many questions left to answer.

If you are interested in the Little House series at all, whether book or TV show, Prairie Man is well worth reading.  Butler makes the case that he feels he was born to play Almanzo.  Growing up on a ranch in California, he describes in detail how his entire career has been shaped by that one role.  As he grew older, he decided to lean into it and run with it, much as Alison Arngrim has over the last few decades.  Fortunately for Little House fans, its incredible legacy is in good hands for the time being.

You can also check my review of Prairie Fires by Caroline Fraser here.

Feliz Día de los Muertos

Teaching the meaning behind Día de los Muertos was always one of my favorite parts of teaching Spanish.  Enjoy the ending of Coco, one of my all-time favorite animated movies.

Book Review:  The Lyrics:  1956 to Present by Paul McCartney – The Beginning

First, fair warning:  this is going to be a series of posts.  There is simply too much material, and the entire premise of the project means too much to me.  Before I get into the meat of the book, it is better if readers understand the background.  While John gave me a beautiful hardcover version for Christmas 2021, I am just now reading it.  I knew that I will get sucked in, and I wanted to give it the time and attention it deserves.  The entire idea of this massive memoir grabbed my imagination as soon as it was announced.

In his introduction, Paul McCartney discusses how he has been approached several times to write a memoir or autobiography.  With this idea rolling around for years, his former brother-in-law, Lee Eastman (the late Linda McCartney’s brother), gave him the idea to write a memoir using his song lyrics, explaining their backgrounds and inspirations.  Frankly, it is a brilliant idea.  In creating The Lyrics, Paul McCartney sat down with renowned poet Paul Muldoon to discuss the poetry behind the lyrics.  Paul Muldoon also served as editor.

I may be only through songs starting with C, but I am thoroughly enjoying the book.  The entire organization of the book is unique.  The Lyrics, of course, covers some of the earliest Beatles songs (back to the Quarrymen, actually) to Paul’s latest solo efforts, with Wings in between.  It truly covers 65 years of some of the best pop music ever written.  Some songs written were given to other bands or acts, such as Peter and Gordon and Badfinger.  The book is not in chronological order, but it is instead arranged by song title.  Throughout the book are dozens of historic photographs from McCartney’s personal archives.  Throughout, he explains his song writing process and inspirations.  Another cool feature of the book is that someone took the time to create a Spotify playlist that includes all of the songs in The Lyrics in order that they appear in the book.  You can listen along as you read.  In my opinion, it doesn’t get much better than that.

I look forwarding to sharing more about The Lyrics once I finish the book.  It may a bit, but it will be well worth it in the end.  As a writer, music lover, and avid Beatles’ fan, especially Paul McCartney, I’m obviously the target audience.  Yet, I feel as though there is something for everyone in the book.  Now in his 80s, Paul McCartney is still touring, still writing music, and still out there.  Supposedly, his shows are right around three hours long, without a break.  His work ethic, his passion for performing and songwriting, and deep appreciation for his fans is the only explanation.

Book Review:  The Wedding People by Alison Espach

I’m not sure exactly what I expected when I started this book, but I did not expect to enjoy it so much, especially given the gritty nature of the subject material covered.  I don’t want to give too much away, but it does deal with such loaded subjects such as suicide, infertility, grief, and love.  Yet, it is witty and realistic as well.  There is definitely humor amongst all the drama.  It is well worth a read.

My favorite is the contrast between our protagonist, Phoebe, who inadvertently crashes a swank wedding week in Rockport, Rhode Island, and Lila, who is a bride-to-be about to kick off a week of wedding activities.  Phoebe has just left everything behind, including her husband, job, house, and cat.  Lila couldn’t be more different, and she is determined that nothing, including an uninvited guest, will ruin her wedding.  Intending to marry in the aftermath of the COVID pandemic and losing her father, Lila spared no expense or experience for her guests.  Will it be enough?

Much of the plot revolves around the emotional and social lives of these two women.  The characters, and I do mean all of the characters, are wonderful, even if the reader isn’t inclined to love them all.  They are deeply flawed and human.  One of my favorites is Juice, Lila’s soon to be step-daughter.  While I love the characters and many are highly developed, well beyond just the protagonists, I would not go so far as to say this is a character-driven novel.  It simply isn’t.  The plot really drives the action, and a lot happens in a week.

I’d love to say more, but I do not want to give away major plot points.  While the action certainly hinges on wedding events over the week, the title itself is a bit misleading.  The book is about so much more than just a wedding or even marriage.  It gets hilariously messy, but it is worth it in the end.  Check it out!

Childhood Antics

July 1984 – Tawas, Michigan – Hamming it up with my Schneider and McTaggart cousins at Aunt Tara and Uncle Bill’s wedding. Thank you Aunt Amy for helping me locate this picture!

Sometimes, a picture can bring up a wide-range of emotions:  joy, sadness, nostalgia, and everything else.  Earlier this summer, I sent my aunts on a search for the picture above.  It had been on my mind for some time.  I consider it one of the definitive photos of my childhood; one that has always stood out.  First, Grandma Buttrick had it framed in one of the back bedrooms of her house for many years.  I always enjoyed coming across it during visits.  For that reason alone, the picture remains a favorite.

While I was too young to remember having the picture taken at my Aunt Tara’s wedding to Uncle Bill in July of 1984, I grew up hearing all about it.  I can’t tell you how many times I heard the story of how I, at three years old, took the instruction to smile at everyone as a flower girl walking down the aisle much too literally.  I stopped at every pew.  At the end of the ceremony, I cried and ran after my mom as she left the church in the processional as a bridesmaid.  I didn’t understand that I just needed to follow my older cousins.  My only memory from that day is a hazy notion of playing at the beach on the animal-shaped play equipment at the Tawas City park during the reception.

July 1984 – Smiling for the camera right after the ceremony …
Thank you to Aunt Tara for locating this gem.

In the picture, I see myself as a little girl full of personality and character.  There is no doubt that I was a ham like my mom, an extrovert.  When I look at this picture, I see “before.”  Before self-doubt, before losing self-confidence, before I realized that my body is, and always has been, all wrong; in other words, before kindergarten.  Prior to kindergarten, no one – not my parents, grandparents, cousins, other adults, other children, or preschool classmates – made me feel inferior in any way.  No one asked me to be something that I wasn’t, no one called me fat or ugly.  I could be myself.

Don’t get me wrong, I loved school.  I would not be a teacher today if that wasn’t the case.  I loved learning, I had some great teachers, and most of my classmates were great.  Yet, I dreaded gym and recess all throughout elementary school.  In gym, always picked last for any game, I just wanted to be good enough.  During recess, other students started picking up on just how different my body is and was.  When you hear that you are fat and ugly on a daily basis at that young of age, you start to believe it.  It becomes a part of you.

1985 – Playing @ The Cottage on Sage Lake with McTaggart and Schneider cousins.

Oddly, things improved a bit during junior high.  I cared about my grades, others didn’t.  Suddenly, I didn’t care so much about peer pressure.  I began to see it for what it was, even though I would have given anything to be what was then considered “normal.”  Keep in mind that this included the era of grunge, emo, and heroin chic.  Any “normal” adolescent felt inadequate when faced with the popular culture of the time. While I finally did come into my own in high school and college, this picture makes me wonder what I missed all those years in-between.  What if I hadn’t had to work so hard for self-confidence?  What if I could have kept that early childhood enthusiasm and creativity?  What if I hadn’t turned inward in the face of constant bullying in elementary school?  What could I have accomplished?  What if?  That is what this picture represents:  possibility. Unadultered possibility.

Storytelling in All of Its Forms

I’ve been thinking about the delicate balance between reading and writing lately.  As a writer, I love to create.  At the same time, I am continually inspired by what I read.  I am still trying to find a balance.  When you add in teaching and my love of technology, it becomes easier to see why I should be both writing and reading more.

Over the last several years, I’ve dabbled in other forms of storytelling.  As I earned my writing certificate through Delta College, I had the opportunity to take a screenwriting course.  While I have no plans to write screenplays, it opened me up to the storytelling potential of even short videos.  I’ve never looked at movies the same since.  During the pandemic, I dabbled with learning how to podcast.  I found it fun, but unlike here at Ramblings of a Misguided Blonde, I would like to dedicate a podcast to a single topic.  I haven’t found the right topic … yet.

As a teacher, I took a short digital storytelling class a few summers ago.  I learned so much, and as I pursue teaching online, I am sure that I will have the opportunity to create several videos for my classes.  Today, I thought I’d share the video that I created a few summers ago.  Just another fun form to explore!