As much as I don’t want to admit it, I am a perfectionist to a fault. There is a link to perfectionism and procrastination, and frankly, I am not sure what to do about it. Several years ago, my boss, who through a strange set of circumstances has known me most of my life, once labeled me as a perfectionist. I bristled. I didn’t want to admit it. I would admit that I was a perfectionist at one time. At the time, I did not believe the label still applied to me. Well, it does. It always will. I may have let a few things go, but I still strive for perfection in everything I do.
Procrastination is what’s wrong with perfectionism. Procrastination keeps me from doing what I need to do, especially when it comes to my writing and my personal life. Trying not to procrastinate led me to make one of the biggest mistakes of my life: my ex. I should have listened to my intuition and realized that it wasn’t going to work from the beginning, but I committed myself to making it work. Unfortunately, it was one sided, and I was too stubborn to realize it. Procrastination is behind my most egregious mistakes. When will I learn not to question myself too much and just do what I need to do?
Fortunately, perseverance is part of the equation as well. I will succeed. It isn’t too late to go back to do what I need to do. I am thankful that I am stubborn enough to stick with it until the end. It may take me decades, but I will persevere as a writer. I must stop comparing myself to anyone else. How many times do I tell myself that before I begin to believe it?